Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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