I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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