i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize