and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
