I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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