I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
