He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
