So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
