Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
