i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize