But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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