Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
