dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
