you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
