i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
