Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
soo... how was my night?
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