That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
