Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize