He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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