Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
