just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
