Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
