I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Boobs speak an international language.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
