Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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