he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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