that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
