Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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