he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
