my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
