so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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