No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
