We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
