Heybabeimwearingurpanties
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Randomize
