but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
