I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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