I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
