I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
