How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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