I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
