shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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