im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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