Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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