how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
