he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
