If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
