Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
