Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize