I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
How external is "for external use only"?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
