This dress was meant to end up on your floor
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
