By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
