make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
