I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
