I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize