Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
