Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
