I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
