Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
