Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
