shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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