Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
