I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
