it wasn't lemon gatorade
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You are a genius and a whore.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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