I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
