i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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