tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
