that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
