I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
