They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
