is your mom at the bar?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
