I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Blood and glitter go together right?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
