D3 body, D1 cock
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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