the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
