One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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