I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
