i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
